I had to find another strategy to use with my youngest. I discovered the 'time in'. A WHAT? You might ask? It is what it sounds it is, no more putting them into the corner and having a moment to themselves and waiting for that 'ding' of the bell to sound the end of loneliness shoved into that corner/sitting on a chair. It means holding each other and giving a cuddle in silence. Then once they are calm and so are you, you discuss what happens while still in your cuddle. My child needed the closeness while she was upset and in no way was being alone helping her to give the moment of reflection of the wrong doing. Now the exception of this rule is when another child was harmed, in that case a raised voice and a stern plunking down on the couch with the instruction not to move was used to access and comfort the hurt child. Then the time in for my youngest happened once all was ok with the hurt child.
Having children with completely different personality traits is a challenge mainly because no two things work the same way. When you think you perfected being a good mom and making things work with one child, the curve ball comes and you need to learn it all over again with the second.....or third....or how many you do have.
I understand that no two children are the same, even identical twins are different. They are two people, not one. And each child needs to be treated differently according to their needs and personality. Some are spirited (enter Avery, my youngest) and some are a little easier going (that would be Kathleen)
Kathleen doesn't like change including rearranging furniture, paint colour, changing curtains, etc. She gets upset when things change too much to the point of crying (although getting a new baby sister was an ok change)
Avery is stubborn regarding change, but accepting of it. Avery- "Why you paint the wall?" Reply- "To make it look nice" Avery- "Oh, ok" and is usally the end of it...except she'll ask again expecting a different reply.
Avery is the kid of child who has this strong desire to try everything....and I mean everything. This also includes eating soap, licking the car, putting toys in her mouth, attempting to eat tissue paper, chewing off the end of markers, climbing the back of the couch and the outside railing of the stairs. The only exception to this rule is food. She is extremely picky regarding food (see previous posting "Food Fight")
I seem to have a dare devil and a reserved sensitive one. Two different ends of the spectrum and two completely different people....just as they should be. I only wish (secretly of course) that my day wasn't spent cleaning up and washing mouths out from markers and soap. Those days that I am doing that, I shake my head and sigh. Why would I want to change my darling child just because it's easier. I embrace both of them for who they are and am proud of myself for my patience.